


Qualifications

by RainbowArches



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Animal Transformation, Cracky, Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2015-08-20
Packaged: 2018-04-16 08:46:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4619007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainbowArches/pseuds/RainbowArches
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Animal transformation is a common occurrence at SHIELD.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Qualifications

It said a lot about Maria’s job that she wasn’t at all alarmed when her boss and the world’s greatest assassin turned into cats. It was annoying, sure, but not alarming. This sort of thing happened all the time. Her biggest concern was whether she would get paid overtime for catsitting and doing the paperwork Nick hadn’t thought worthy of his time when he was a human, and she said as much.

Nick, who was resting on one of the chairs, lifted his head and fixed her with his must unimpressed scowl. He was a growly old black cat with scars and a limp. He still had a bad eye and his hair was flecked with grey. He wasn’t nearly as mean as he looked or pretended to be. Maria rolled her eyes at his response.

“Don’t think I’m going to let this go when you turn back,” she said. “I don’t actually have to be here you know. Where’s Natasha?”

Natasha was more like an older kitten. She was brightly colored but never anywhere to be found. She was quiet, smug, and slinky. She strutted out from under Maria’s chair, rubbing herself against Maria’s legs as she went.

“Why can’t you stay in one place for five minutes?”

Natasha meowed teasingly, and then ducked under one of the chairs when someone knocked at the door.

“Come in,” said Maria.

Jasper came in carrying two plates of tuna.

“The antidote’s ready,” Jasper said. “It’s in their dinner.” He gestured with the plates, and then set them down on the floor. “You know, it would be a lot easier if this happened the same way all the time. Then we could keep the antidote on hand instead of making a new one all the time.”

“Tell me about it,” said Maria. “At least no one’s turned into something particularly menacing.”

“Yet. Anyway, all they have to do is eat and they’ll be fine. It’ll take a while for it to work though, so be patient.”

“Oh, don’t worry about me. I’m getting overtime.”

Nick hissed.

As soon as Jasper left, Nick and Natasha dug into their dinner. When they finished, Natasha sat and cleaned her paws primly.

“You’ll get hairballs,” Maria said.

Natasha ignored her.

Nick came over and climbed onto the desk to check on Maria’s work, and then claimed residence in her lap. Maria scratched him behind his ears until he started purring. Maria paused. “Wait. Get off my lap.” She gave him a nudge. “This is not a good place for you to turn back into a human.” She nudged him again.

Nick yowled his displeasure at being relocated and went to find Natasha, who had disappeared again. Maria decided this would be a good time to find something to do elsewhere. The transition from animal to human was always a little embarrassing.

 

The chair got knocked over when it failed to accommodate both Nick and Natasha’s human bodies. They’d been napping underneath it but the noise woke them up.

Natasha extracted herself from Nick’s arms. Nick politely kept his eyes closed until she was dressed. She threw his clothes at him and turned her back while he put them on.

“Because you’re not a SHIELD agent until you turn into an animal,” Natasha said. “It’s the only reason I can think of why this keeps happening.”

“Yeah,” said Nick, zipping up his pants. “Get to know each other more intimately than you ever wanted to and you’ve cemented an ally for life.”

 

 

“And for the bonus round,” Natasha muttered, as the fox ran around the room chattering orders.

Nick crouched and scratched Maria behind the ears. She sat and stopped chattering.

The black bear cub pawed mournfully at Natasha’s leg.

“Sorry Sitwell, I’m picking you up,” Natasha said, scooping the cub into her arms. “You’re too cute; I can’t resist.” Jasper let himself be held in a resigned sort of way, with as much dignity as he could muster in his current state.

Maria ran to the desk chair, jumped up, and snatched something from the desk with her teeth. She carried it over to Nick.

“What is it?” Natasha asked.

“It’s the animal transformation paperwork. Because we have paperwork for that now.” He looked at Maria, who looked back expectantly. “Alright, fine.” He went to his desk to get started.

Maria grinned, all teeth, and ran off to find something else to delegate.

“Should she be out of the office?” Natasha asked.

Nick shrugged. “If anyone’s slacking off she can bite them on the ankle. Might as well let her. It’s not like she can get away with that when she’s human.”


End file.
